Mr. Hyacinth

Physical description: green eyes, long eyelashes, average length dark-hair, about 6'2 or 6'3, lean or lanky, possibly a light smattering of freckles on his shoulder or nose, maybe a tattoo or piercing.


Personality description: funny, sweet, annoying at times, honest, sarcastic, conscientious, occasionally dorky, active, intelligent, headstrong, slightly protective, he knows I can handle myself, doesn't treat me like I'm lesser than him because I'm female, and lets me have my own views on things like politics and religion.


....poor guy....


I've never found him, sadly; this is just speculation. This is who I WANT Mr. Hyacinth to be.


Honestly, I doubt I'll ever find a Mr. Hyacinth to match this description.


The current almost-Mr. Hyacinth does have the green eyes, the dark hair, and most of the personality. Of course, he goes to private school and studies the Bible in class, so we have a little bit of friction (not the good kind) between us. Oh, and he barely touches me. Seriously, he'll hug and give me his arm, but the kid won't even grind on me while dancing.


When I imagined Mr. Hyacinth, I kind of imagined him a little hornier, truth be told. (Oh, I can't believe I admitted that).


I know I've spoiled myself. Because I read so much fanfiction, and many of my favorites are slightly smutty, I've deluded myself into thinking all men are sexy, sarcastic, and funny at the same time. Very few of them really fit into that category.

Honestly, I'm kind of ashamed I've put so much thought into creating him. Especially since ever guy I ever write looks like the above mentioned. And acts like him. Which is pathetic, truth be told.

Have you ever done this? Created a make-believe person so perfect for you that suddenly your real life guy doesn't match up? I think this is reminiscent of the Twilight phenomenon with Edward. I sailed that ship for a while, before I came into Port Realization and suddenly he was a character flat as a board, prudish, and chauvinistic. Er, yeah. More like crashed into Port Realization.

Sadly, I didn't discover Mr. Hyacinth in a book somewhere or in a coffee shop on Wilma Road. Rather, I took aspects of him from characters I loved, the guys I know in real life, and what I imagine men can be like eventually. Because of this, I sincerely doubt I'll ever find the boy as I have described him. I've screwed myself over, thanks to this.

Next thing you know, my life plan will go down the drain because I've set it up too perfectly.

In case you're wondering, I'm getting a 4 year degree in English, minor in Creative Writing; move on for my masters in English, preferably from NYU; get a position at some publishing company as an editor's assistant, move up; (somewhere along this timeline I've met and fallen in love with Mr. Hyacinth and now we're married, by the way); have my kids--two boys (William and Nathaniel) and one girl (Schuyler or Kyrie, depending on Mr. H); earn money to support everyone with my hubby; afford a brand new Audi dream car; live life between with fights and love and friends and love and cats and kids and books and love and Mr. H.

Yeah... not looking so likely to play out as perfectly as I want it to.

Damn.

But, I blame corporate America. And Disney movies I watched as a kid. They've crafted a type of life nobody actually lives, and now I'm stuck with unreal expectations. Oh, and I blame fanfic and the wonderful authors on there too. (I take no credit for this failure, by the way.) Mr. Hyacinth as described will never exist.

But, on the off chance he does.... don't hesitate to send him my way. I'll probably gasp for air and flutter and have a hot flash and then calm down and smile like I'm not insane. Which I'm not. Really.

... not convinced? Me neither...

*sigh*

Hopefully San Fran will be a welcome change for me and I'll forget all about him and manage to fall in love with an ordinary guy I can treat extraordinarly, rather than an extraordinary guy who doesn't exist and becomes ordinary.

~hyacinth (A Ms. lacking her Mr.)

Music Rec: "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 (unfortunately, featuring Ke$ha)